Monday, September 15, 2008

The changing of the seasons is affecting me adversely this year. Or perhaps I am affecting it adversely. I can't quite tell. All I know is that today when I walked out after dinner and the light was slate-grey, my heart sank. Then a fall wind came and blew through my hair, and as much as I love it for its crisp brightness, I could not help but feel a tinge of despair. The season of death is coming, and there is nothing to be done.
I love fall in theory- the bright leaves, the clean wind, the warm clothes- but in my heart I know that as the darkness pulls tighter and tighter around my days and the sun becomes a friend who comes only for lunch, I will have to fight melancholy off with liturgy and friends and my love as best I can.

2 comments:

Chris said...

You speak truth: the ending of summer is a time of preparation, of building defenses. Ultimately, there is nothing we can do to prevent winter's eventual halt. In this space of storing up and tying down and insulating, we must remember that for a time, we create our own lights; we control our own climates. I have not yet shaken from my bones the chill of February past. (Hopefully a weekend in Orlando and a week in Miami will remedy that.) But let me encourage you! There will be wonderful moments of steaming tea, large comforting blankets, body heat, pumpkin-spice lattes and good wine. Well, maybe not wine until Christmas...but still. I understand your dread! I know Robb will have a cure or two. Warmest Regards!

cair. said...

aw meghan... i know that feeling exactly. well, exactly for me in my heart. it's a most sad, frustrating and cold feeling... it won't be as bad this year, hopefully, with a beautiful wedding coming up, as well as graduation. after you graduate, you can paint your walls yellow, heat the house as warm as you like it, play sunny music, boil pots of sweet spices, burn a million candles, drink lots of tea and sit inside with a purring kitten for as long as you want without having any thought of papers, exams, classes or any of that. love.